Metrosexuals, homosexuals and now asexuals. Everyone wants a piece of the reservation pie. This time its the dinosaurs.
Clad in a “Denver the Last Dinosaur” t-shirt, Pee Giddy, world famous lawyer , addressed the Lok Sabha , making a plea for categorizing dinosaurs under the nearly extinct category. So far, only the metrosexuals have been granted such a status.
“Today , I stand before you, begging for the rights of these docile creatures. In their million year existence, they’ve not harmed a single soul”, he said.
“That’s a lie”, interjected Pabloo Madhav, while stuffing hundred dollar bills into his lungi. His protest was quickly silenced. For eternity. Courtesy the Velociraptor representative sitting next to him.
No one paid attention. They were too busy wondering if they were wearing their underwear with the itchy tag label in or out.
“Look at the media. They’ve portrayed them as merciless , cold-blooded, killers. Movies like Jurasik Parc and Gawdzilla are not a truthful representation of this peaceful race”, he continued.
However Pee Giddy was interrupted again. This time by none other than the maker of Jurasik Parc itself, Ghey Jee Dubyaa.
“They’re evil, the scum of the Earth. My movies show the truth”, said the 65 year old director, “I refuse to share my status with them”.
“After all look at what they’ve done to my Toni Blair”, he continued, whilst taking out a photo from his wallet of his pet dung beetle , who was tragically killed by a crapping flying fart-o-saur.
With tears in his eyes he sobbed on uncontrollably. The paleontologists next to him consolled him but to no avail. He rambled on stating that the only media that needed them were the K-Series shows. Reason being , dinosaurs could kill off all the unwanted cast members with one swift jaw movement or poop them to death. As the script required.
Then again no one paid attention. They were too busy counting the number of tiles on the floor whilst quietly stuffing glass coasters into their pockets.
Nevertheless, Pee Giddy’s oration continued. He knew he was losing ground. This was the time to unveil the ace or should i say, T-Rex, up his sleeve.
“These denizens are grateful for you hearing their plight. I request you , oh masters of our destiny to take heed of their plea. They would vote by the thousands.”,he concluded.
Suddenly , as if woken up from a dream starring Malika Sherawat, their collective minds raced furiously. It’s amazing what the word “vote” can do. Any media professional can tell you that the words “sex” and “free” are most likely to entice people. Politicians however are a different breed. The word “vote” works wonders.
Then in a flash, Nilesh Batt,leader of the ruling party, dug his nose and scratched himself.
After satisfying himself, he said,”On listening carefully to what the all honorable Pee Giddy had to say, as the representative of the ruling party, I support his cause. This is not all. From now on Desperate Housewives will be renamed Desperate Dinosaurs and KBC2 along with Indian Idol will make special arrangements for adequate dinosaur representation. I call upon Pee Giddy for his vote of thanks.”
The crowd whistled and hooted, similar to a group of hooligans sitting in the front of a C-grade/Bhojpuri flick’s item number. Reason being they are the same crowd. Hence approval was won and the act passed.
“This couldn’t have been a more special day of my life.First my girlfriend of 2 days proposed to me and now this. Ladies, gentlemen and dinosaurs, I present to you my lovely Velociraptor wife, Pamela Anderson (who was picking her canines with Pabloo Madhav’s thigh bone)!”, he ended his speech with these words as the audience on DD Lok Sabha took a collective gasp of fright.
Which isn’t much considering that the ghost of a dung beetle was the only viewer.
