It was one of those nights where you felt the need to grab a drink, play some Jenga and have some conversation. So when the sisterbot, Trosseau Lady and myself made our way to Bootlegger’s we were greeted by a site that was anything but that. Instead we were greeted to a scene right out of a Roman orgy minus the women.
You read that right, men grinding with other men, men throwing (imaginary) notes at other men as if they were at a dance bar, men forcing other men to get up and dance with them and if i saw right, dirty dancing even.
Now that i come to think of it, 9 days after the alcohol of that night had drained itself from my body (replaced with ice cream, vodka and whiskey), they weren’t men. No they weren’t men at all.Try boys.
Yes, boys, probably first timers at a night club. The sort who’re just fresh out of school. In this case probably a school where any term related to the female species was met with immediate expulsion and solid spanking by some emo-male teacher who was hit by his mom, molested by his uncle and has a high pitch voice.
While Trosseau Lady and the sisterbot were ogling with ardent curiousity, yours truly was busy connecting his face to his palm in abject disgust wondering if this would be the fate of men if women ceased to exist. For those few hours it did seem like it (present company included*).
Did i forget to mention a faux ramp walk, sliding across the floors and general douche baggery that would fit in with a gay bar, which Bootlegger’s is certainly not. Maybe the management was under the Elton John/George Michael/ Bobby Darling Defense Force?
Either way, it’s going to be a cold day in hell before i go back to Bootlegger’s. Unless i start exhibiting tendencies towards chick flicks, sip on pink drinks with umbrellas, walk crooked and proclaim Brokeback Mountain to be my favorite movie. Till then i’ll be having my alcohol elsewhere.
Oh and for those precious few women who aren’t prone to ogling as if they were examining some new species of baboons or rhesus monkeys, you have, on behalf of heterosexual side of man kind, my sincerest apologies.
*yes i really meant that, after all what do you expect when you're with a gal who's about to get hitched and your sister as well?