Predictions for 2011

A little something I wrote for T3 India’s anniversary issue. Now here and unedited for your viewing pleasure:

One year from the end of the Mayan calendar aside,  here’s what to expect in 2011. Pardon the lack of accuracy in our forecast. There wasn’t an app on the Appstore to help us out.
1. Himesh comes to iTunes: Sure Apple teased us with “Tomorrow is another day. That you’ll just never forget” but let’s face it the Beatles announcement is just the place holder for this nasal singer who has the mighty legion of rickshaw driving fanboys at his side and easily singable tunes that can have the most stuck up of editors humming in no time. That and the lack of a Emperor Palpatine-like Yoko Ono figure to cause his demise make this prophecy inevitable.

2. 3G comes to India: Sure it will in a more widespread fashion and rates that would drop faster than the TRPs of Bigg Boss post-Pamela Anderson and the not too under the radar cat-fighting between telcos like drunken women but there will be an obvious side-effect – a  telephone minister would resign.

3. Indian Politicians on Twitter: Just like Shashi Tharoor last year the internet will throw up some canny, publicity hungry politician wanting to  raise his or her profile. However don’t expect any controversy, just carefully managed; succinct tweets that would make Rahul Dravid’s batting seem less bland.

4. NotionInk finally launches the Adam: To the relief of many a techie rooting for the underdog the Adam will finally hit the shelves only to be outspecced and outgunned from Apple’s and Samsung’s next Retina Display and SAMOLED toting darlings making it the Palm Pre of the tablet world.

5. iPhone4 in India: Hopefully at a rate that won’t have you selling your kidney, limbs, first born and your mobile connection to own it. This will be followed by Windows Phone 7 finally launching here leading to a spate of “I’m a PC, I’m a Mac” arguments all over again. Can we meet in the middle ground? Preferably Android please?

6.  …and speaking of Android: Samsung, HTC and your favourite manufacturer of Android handsets will finally find a way to increase battery life so that you can tweet, check your emails, video conference, Skype, walk the dog, do the dishes, breathe and most importantly make calls without the battery dying on you in under thirty seconds.

7.  Big Bazaar enters the Mobile Biz: Hot on the heels of Tips, iBall, your grandmother and your cat entering the mobile phone space with super cheap handsets freshly made by suicidal Chinese workers would be our version of Wallmart wading into the already crowded pool leading to crazy price drops. The good news: an iPhone 4 knock off for under a grand. The bad news: it breaks the moment you try calling anyone.

8. Foxconn outsources to India: In order to lower suicide rates and most importantly, cut costs, the mysterious contract manufacturer for almost everyone from Nintendo to HP, decides to outsource their projects to India leading to a decrease of suicides, an increased productivity, greater tech leaks and of course a grand reality TV show capturing all the drama.

9. Less mobile phone predictions: Let’s face it, the portable space has been booming so much so that this writer’s first 43645758 thoughts on this article were all cell phone based. And even after trying to look busy writing this article to escape the proof-reading boredom of closing time he’s nowhere close to having less of them. Having said that he apologizes and promises the same won’t hold true next year. Maybe.

10. You will join our Facebook page: Legend has it that if it’s in print it must be true. And while this isn’t exactly number one on our list of predictions, truth be told, being marooned on a planet inhabited by nothing but lingerie models and latest tech is, but this isn’t too far down the pecking order. So join us at http://fb.me/T3India or just search for T3 India on Facebook to see what goes on behind the scenes at India’s premier gadget mag. Stalkers and irate fanboys who want to hunt down that writer who gave your favourite product a bad review are welcome too.

Tags: 3G, android, big bazaar, Facebook, foxconn, himesh reshammiya, iphone, magazine, mayan, samsung, Shashi Tharoor, suicides, T3, tablets, Twitter, wallmart, windows phone 7