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How to get God of War’s Groove Back

8 Apr

As you all might know, Sony’s posterboy of Greek genocide, Kratos, hasn’t had the greatest of outings. Truth be told, the latest entry in the franchise, God of War: Ascension pales in comparison to what longtime fans have come to expect from the series. No fear however, here’s my pitch on how to make the series infinitely better.

Reboot the franchise to the modern day. Give Kratos a brand new look, like he’s from Twilight and have Ares be a grubby business man wearing a suit. Throw in dubstep and immature dialogue along with (even more) watered down combat and you have a winner.

Fight between Kratos and Medusa:

Medusa: Kratosssss? Son of Zeus? And Calisto the whooooreeee?

Kratos: I’m Kratos the God killer. Has a nice ring to it.

Medusa: You want to kill me? You can’t kill me. I’m perenially stoooonnnnneeeeedddd!

Kratos: Fuck you.

Medusa: Fuck youuuuuuuuuu!

Kratos: Fuck you.

Medusa: Fuckkkkkkkkkk youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

If you didn’t you get the all but obvious inspiration, here it is:

 

Then again, you don’t fuck with a god. Or do you?

 

Mass Effect 3: Extended Cut. Fan Service and Midi-Chlorians

5 Apr

Merely a day after my ramblings about Mass Effect 3′s conclusion, it seems that the folks at BioWare are going to release a post-game DLC entitled Mass Effect 3: Extended Cut to explain the rather bleak and abrupt ending.

While rabid, vocal, rage-prone fans would consider this a win, I’m beginning to wonder when the hell did the industry devolve into fan service? Rather, would I be wrong to use the word “devolve” in the first place? Reason being, games were first products sold off the shelf, then the business model evolved to sell them as a service, keeping you engaged over the initial “OMG I HAZ NEW GAME TO PLAY” phase what with post-launch DLC and enhanced rosters (FIFA, NBA) among other things.

And then we have this step from BioWare thrown into the mix. A combination of some rather vibrant feedback and developers responding publicly. Though they aren’t going to change the ending, they’re offering more insight into what happened which should keep most if not all fans in check. A sort of collaborative post-game DLC if you will, squarely purposed around giving fans what they want, even if it isn’t exactly all of it.

Considering that consoles have long development cycles (compared to other devices) and sky high development costs, it isn’t such a bad thing to keep your existing audience happy. After all it’s easier to keep an already receptive gamer buying your new iterations (such as the rumoured Mass Shift game that takes elements from The Lost Guardian) with minimal marketing effort.

I do wonder though, what kind of precedent this sets.Since the smaller publishers don’t have the budgets of an EA and there are costs involved in hosting DLC on platforms such as Xbox Live and PSN as well as royalties, it becomes tougher to justify creating content on platforms that isn’t as open as say, Steam.

Most of all though, it smirks in the face of even considering games as art and puts it in the same category as cheesy anime and manga which is obviously anything but. Not that it matters though. If anything, this move will ensure sales of the next Mass Effect game are robust.

As for me, I’m curious to see what direction BioWare takes with the franchise though I believe that some mysteries, no matter how bleak and abrupt, should be kept as mysteries. The last thing I want, is another midi-chlorian moment. That’s what spoiled Star Wars for me. I don’t want the video game equivalent of Star Wars going down the same path.

Online Passes: The Death of Single-Player

1 Jan

Distributors and retailers refer to games as products. Publishers on the other hand, like to believe games are services, supported by a torrent of content to ensure that you’re hooked for as long as possible. They’re both wrong. To me, games are moments. They’re those events that make you wet your pants in fear, cry like a little girl or just simply smile. Be it the obtuse humour of Fable, the wide-eyed whimsy of Kirby’s adventures or the sheer adrenaline rush of Vanquish, there’s a lot that make games worth playing. And now, access to newer experiences and feelings that games can elicit are dependent on:

1. How fat your internet pipe is.
2. How often you’re willing to stretch your electric bill in the name of grabbing those levels that should have shipped with the game in the first place.
3. Your willingness to spend $10 for a scrap of paper over and above your used game purchase.

There’s been a lot of drama around publishers and their online policies to curb used games. Be it locking out campaign levels, multiplayer modes or just modern day horse armour, it’s become a bit of a nuisance we’ve grown to tolerate. Gone is the time when you could just boot up a game and play it, there’s an install, patches, and of course, some varying chunks of megabytes of content that you’d to download before you can even think of playing your game. Add the obligatory driver downloads, config file edits and swearing if you’re a PC gamer. You’re spending less time experiencing the thrills of Arkham City and wasting more time waiting for the damn content that should have been on the disc to be downloaded.

I’m worried about is how this would affect single-player only experiences. Now, not all of us (read: me) are big multiplayer gamers. I like my solo fun be it mining for minerals in Mass Effect 2 (I actually liked that, true story) or flirting with fellow classmates in Persona 3, single-player games, particularly RPGS, are, for the lack of a better term, my jam.

Which is why this entire debacle of locking out single-player content in the name of protecting first hand purchases is preposterous. Even more so when a triple-A title like Arkham City does it simply because it sets precedent. But if we’re to be historically accurate, I do believe precedent was set with Dragon Age: Origins’ Shale DLC which punished gamers who didn’t pre-order or buy day one by missing out on the coolest character and her side-quest in the game. To be honest, I don’t think the game would be quite the same without having a big hulking stone golem with a psychotic dislike for pigeons and a disdain for humanity by my side. But I digress…

My major issue with this wholesale adoption of online passes is that it corrupts the design process. It dilutes the impact that a title would have. Imagine how FFVII would have been if you were asked to pay to access the death of Aeris? Or if Modern Warfare’s All Ghillied Up mission was an optional download? Would these have the same effect as they did when you saw them for the first time? I highly doubt it. You’d end up with thinking a little lesser of the game than you should. And you can’t be blamed either.

After all, it’s not like the developers and business folk have the best idea of what should be listed as an online pass what shouldn’t. There are some moments in a game that everyone should be able to access regardless of their type of purchase be it day one or two years hence, new or used.

Hell, it was quite tragic that the Naked City case in LA Noire was a download-only affair in certain territories. Reason being it was, in my opinion one of the cases that the game should have shipped with. It did a good job of fleshing out the details of 1940s Los Angeles’, it deserved more than being bunged in with the rest of Rockstar’s dismal online pass offerings.

Another caveat of restricting content to a digital code is the actual gameplay duration you get out of a single-player game. Fundamentally it means that you’re never going to get all the hours the game promises you unless you connect to the Internet and download the data as soon as you purchase it.

I wonder if any of the executives at publishers have ever thought how stupid it is to keep content out from a paying customer just because of his or her Internet reliability (Warner Bros and Rocksteady, I’m looking at you). It’s not like everyone has access to a blistering fast broadband connection or is comfortable with downloading a ton of data. Mass Effect 2 comes to mind where the collective wisdom of EA and Bioware thought it was a good idea to let us download close to a gig worth of content (Normandy crash mission, Zaeed Massani’s quests) after purchasing the game instead of dumping it on the disc.

Though the US figures show a different picture, it’s not exactly true for the rest of the world. Especially when some countries have ISPs that think it’s cool to have a fair usage policy restricted to 25GB. Sometimes I feel that the publishers are in bed with Internet providers and electric companies in order to make us spend more than we should on electricity and Internet to get something we’ve already paid $60 for.

To sum it up, online passes would, in my opinion result developers create half-assed single-player campaigns that make a mockery of your hard-earned money. After all, it’s not like you make it a habit buy a used car without wheels, or a used book without half its pages. Some might argue that games are not products, they’re services. I believe that games are neither. Games are moments.

And for this reason alone that this entire online pass hoopla is a complete clusterfuck in the making.We’re not far from the time when what could be classic moments that make video games special get sliced and diced as pre-order or day one add-ons. So go ahead, do your bit and don’t support titles that are making a making a mockery of the very core of gaming because as gamers, we deserve better treatment.

Ohai

9 Sep

GamingIndians Mumbai Meet 4.0

28 Sep

The first thing that hits you about GamingIndians Mumbai Meet 4 (GIMM4) is lack of detail and realism. While most next-gen titles have ultra-accurate renditions of everything ranging from wrinkles to turd, GIMM4 employs a more whimsical style due to the nature of its graphics engine. Unlike other games that use the Unreal Engine, the developers at GI have employed their own custom engine nicknamed “Booze and Pizza”, and if your system can handle it, there’s a secret mode unlocked called “Booze, Pizza, Cheech & Chong, Transformers HD”.

On stepping into the in-game world of GIMM4, you’re greeted by its denizens, journeymen like you who’ve travelled near and far to meet like-minded folk. Hosting the festivities is the overlord Sam, who controls the supply of food, games and beer. In Andrew Ryan-esque fashion, he even monitors the activities of all and sundry via digital camera. Due to a touch of tech-n00bness, however, most the data cache on his camera is erased, but its presence more than enough to keep the more friskier bunches in check.

Other titles in this genre have repetitive goals and objectives, making them quite boring to play (Assassin’s Creed, I’m looking at you). The objective of GIMM4 is simple – come, meet up and have a good time. A no-brainer really. With an excellent system of mini-games such as Wii Sports, Soul Calibur 4, FIFA 09, Pure, Guitar Hero 2 and Halo 3, getting by is an absolute blast.

However, the greatest strength of this title is the widened and enhanced roster of characters. Unlike previous instalments in the franchise that had smaller numbers, GIMM4 is probably the biggest in this aspect. And perhaps, the most fun too. From the drunken ramblings of gonekrazy to the team killing antics of THEDIRECTOR, each and every character was awesome to interact with.

Each character has its own unique back-story that further deepens the experience. For instance, Donz being PS3-phobic would not even touch the PS3, while Sam wouldn’t touch the Xbox 360 for being afraid of the same. At the same time you have those with more liberal allegiances such as Markettantrik, who gladly accepted this reviewer’s challenges in Soul Calibur 4 on the PS3 and FNR3 on the 360 and whooped him soundly at both.

If you’re adventurous, you’d try your hand at eight-player free for all Halo 3 with rockets being your only weapon. The sound effects in this mini-game were brilliant, be it the dins of “stop flashing” (which apparently was meant without any innuendos attached) or several succinctly punctuated four and five letter words that would be too brazen to publish, combined with generous dollops of “dude”, “fail”, “nice” and “win”. And if you’ve stocked up on enough power ups (read: booze) you’d be soaring through death matches on Guardian in no time. Due to the nature of the Booze and Pizza engine, this game has been deemed 18+ only.

Much has been talked about the controversial installation limit of GIMM4. Due to the DRM employed by the developers themselves, you could only fire up the game once. And that time was on the 27th of September, 2008, 7 PM onwards. All further attempts yielded this reviewer with self-inflicted rickrolls and exploding hangovers. Such is the nature of the DRM in this title, more severe than others, which at least allow you to install the game three times.

All in all, it’s a brilliant attempt by the guys at GI. Be it expanding vocabulary (kudos THEDIRECTOR) or having a rational discussion about fanboy wars with CarbonCore (no seriously, it was completely rational) to reminiscing the good old days of Nintendo with Systematic, I’m yet to come across something packed with so many killer moments in one single gameplay sitting. This is definitely game of the year bar none. Unless there’s a GIMM5, that is.

GamingIndians Verdict: DO WANT! You should’ve been there.

GIMM4 was available on the 27th of September, 7 PM onwards at the cost of free and was bundled with epic win.

Singapore Swag: Part II

26 Sep

Ever had one of those days where you’re unarmed and surrounded by a seemingly endless hoarde of zombies?

Neither have i. Yet.
Though the second day of the GCA could be somewhat similar to that experience. Just replace zombies with booth babes. While Day One had its fair share, today was overkill times infinity. And then some. Don’t believe me? Then believe the almighty, Tech2!
That aside, i finally caught up with some funny, bright folks. Surprisingly, they’re my cousins as well…

The rest of the trip was spent getting to know (read: bugging the living daylights) my cousins. Fun times. Especially when one of them actually called the cops on his Hindi teacher for giving him excess homework. Oh, and exploring town. 
While the city is pretty sweet, what was quite irritating was the amount of PDA going on in plain sight. Groping, liplocking and several other activities that would put porn to shame really. There’s no need to get a room it seems, when an escalator would suffice. An0 would dissapprove. Hitler too.
It’s extremely satisfying to be able to go across the entire city in 45 minutes. Even more so when you’re alone, free and unburdened by the usual baggage of parental paranoia and other such homemade treats. Definitely something i could get used to.
Speaking of treats, the food was great to say the least. Imagine plates piled high with 35326347 different kinds of tofu, 4376568657 different kinds of veg. cold cuts , rice, noodles and kiwi juice.
Yes, kiwi-fucking-juice.
 This was a vegetarian’s paradise. Good thing then, i checked in early,else i’d have been not allowed to board for being overweight (yes, i’m vegetarian and i crack poor jokes so sue me).
Finally, after the sensory overload of games, babes, shopping and fun i got homesick (in spite of thinking i could get used to being away), checked in early, grabbed a pint of Guiness, followed it up with a huge glass of cinammon cold coffee and a chocolate muffin and waited at the the departure lounge. And while weathering the storm of an intense sugar-rush, i decided to abuse the free internet terminals:

Tulsi: i miss the humourous witty comments of the day
 me: that’s what she said :p
 Tulsi: now run along AND ONCE MORE YOU SAY THAT’WHAT SHE SAID
  YOU WILL BEFALL THE WRATH OF THE TK x(I KID U NOT)

Yes, it’s good to be back. Also, here’s the Singapore Swag:

Oops, wrong picture… there we go:

Singapore Swag: Part I

24 Sep

Singapore was awesome. No seriously. Awesome enough to make unicorns puking out rainbows look like a rotund, drugged out Britney Spears trying to perform at the MTV awards. Yes the trip was that good. 

It started off (after the usual out of the airport and into the city ride) with a bunch of us cranky folk forced to freshen up at the locker room of the hotel’s gym. Our generous benefactors, in all their glory, forgot to mention the need for an early check-in. And the funnily obvious thing is this, five of us managed to be ready faster than our solitary female co-worker.
After the mandatory big buffet breakfast (noodles, apricot jam, toast, salad and a bunch of other unmentionables) we made our way to the GCA which was 2 floors games, babes, more games, a lot more babes and well…you get the drift. Oh yeah and games.
The cool part was we got to meet several producers, global product managers and several other guys with fancy titles that slip my mind at this point in time. The highlight was trumping my immediate boss 4-1 in FIFA09. It’s a different story that he missed three penalties but hey, i’ll take what i can, what with being the FIFA whooping bitch at work.
Lunch was a semi-decent scene, could’ve been the feast of gods had it not been for a certain vegetarian extremist in our party who was hell bent on having a meal that was pure veg.
While this seems a relatively minor request, please keep in mind that the person in question is paranoid to the point where Stalin would seem like a hippie in comparison. So even anything that remotely smelled like non-veg (even if it was meant for carnivores) was met with utter disdain. End result: farewell any chance of sampling local cuisine, hello Pizza Hut for lunch and random Indian restaurant for dinner. The irony? i’m veg too.
This aside, my fellow game journo buddies took to the bars at the first chance which was a hoot. And i mean that in the most literal sense possible because they ended up at…


Yeah, lucky for me i didn’t get as sloshed as they did. Walking five hammered media guys back to the hotel is no mean task. What with one nearly walking into a glass wall, a second nearly apprehended for shoplifiting (he forgot to pay for his stuff at 7Eleven) and a third who kept on asking us to get his “nuts from the minibar”. On the bright side, the other two were just adamant to get us as far from the hotel as possible.

Note to self: next time, leave drunk folk at the bar rather than try to get them out. It’s safer that way. For me.
Quote of the Day:

Guy 1: So how did you find Maggie Q ?
Guys 2(mistaking the hot babe for NSF: Prostreet): It’s very nice. i play it every day.
Part II in my next post.

Hiatus in Pictures.

18 Jan














A few of my best friends.

28 Dec
(From left to right: PSOne & PS2 games, PSP,PSOne, PS3, PS2, N64 & GameCube games, Wii, N64, GameCube)
Fire Your Stylist

Bollywood, this means you.

The Squadron of Shame Squawkbox

I hear you like games. So do we.

For the Ninja in all of us.

Curly Miri

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