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Conversation of the Weekend

22 Dec

Lyrical Gangsta: So how’s the new SRK movie?
h3lios: Meh. i hear it’s good.
Lyrical Gangsta: Nice! When are you going for it?
h3lios: The moment you buy a Michael Jackson inflatable doll.
Lyrical Gangsta: …

Somethings never change.

Now Listening To: Reverend and the Makers – Open Your Window (FIFA 09 OST)

Meh Part 2: Sunday Weekend Edition

19 Oct

She needed a phone she said. After severely hammering the keypad of her K530i to the point where if it could have a voice, it would shout “RAPE!”.  And in all her idiocy she turned to me.

The E71 was out of her budget, the Blackberry Pearl not to her liking and the HTC Touch was a brick.  i had spoilt her by uttering the unthinkable, wi-fi.
Nevertheless after a bit of bitching, a bit of consternation and a bit of consideration it was finally settled, she would get a Razr 2 V8. With 2GB nothing less.
But the chronicling of this exercize on this blog wasn’t the purpose of this post. For throughout our buying session at the store was a horde of what seemingly resembled females.
They entered the store, breaking through the doors, toting their size godzilla bags on size zero frames, branded tees, streaked hair and cackling voices in tow. And in the cacophony they revelled, persuing one nubile phone after the next leaving utter irritation in their wake.
“GET THIS ONE!”

“No! No! My ex got the SAME one!”

“Wait ya! This matches my lipstick!”

“Hold on, this is nice! Look! It’s soooo shiny!”
And in all the noise, the head crow cawed with sagacity and wit unheard of for one of her tribe.
“Look at the Nokia website ya! Find out the features of the phone and decide if you want it!”
Apparently they lack faith in salesmen or their own instincts at reading box covers. Either way if they’re representative of our generation, we are, for the lack of a better word, screwed.
Having said that, we’re probably screwed anyway what with the following comment heard and cherished:
Person 1: You know how it is, you aim for the stars hoping to…
Person 2: …grab some ass.
Now Listening To: Dandy Warhols – Bohemian Like You

The Weekend in Pictures:16/2 and 17/2 Edition

4 Mar









Weekend Warrior II – Unbowelled and Uncut!

11 Jun

With the lack of a shoot to go for we find our dark, brooding hero sitting in front of his computer checking the necessary things…

Games? Check.
Movies? Check.
No Work? Check.

He was all set for the perfect Sunday. And it would have been that way. Only if his maternal unit didn’t malfunction by trying to be a female Gordon Ramsey, who required a guinea pig to double as a kitchen underling. Resulting in a mutated version of Caramel Custard that glows in the dark and murmurs “Eat me! Eat me!”.

If that wasn’t enough an after movie trip to Zaffran ended up in a damp squib. Always would be the case if the place was decked up akin to an atheist living on a prayer, a total contradiction and then some.

At least the movie was awesome. Good enough to be on his shortlist for movie of the year, along with Little Miss Sunshine. Ocean’s 13′s intricate plot and emphasis on wit made it all worth the while. All more worth the while when the tickets are free.

Now Listening To: Beach Boys – Sail On, Sailor

Weekend Warrior.

10 Jun

The alarm rang, playing that irritating Toreador tune for the umpteenth time. As always , our dark, brooding klutz pressed the snooze button. Only to be awoken several seconds later by the thunderous war cry of his bowels, threatening to unleash hell on earth if he didn’t heed to their needs.

A little later, after shit hit the pot, this slumbering twit was struggling to come to terms with the fact that he was fully awake. Amidst this tumultuous struggle, his cell phone whined. Before he knew it, he was gallivanting around the outer regions of the South Bombay sector on a shoot. Details of this journey are too gory to retell, rather here are a few statistics that should tell the complete story:

1. Number of high speed capsule elevator trips to realize that cause giddiness: 1
2. Number of times nearly run over by passing cars: 2
3. Number of India’s Dumbest Moments on Camera:3
4. Number of curses sworn in silence: too many to count

As you can see, numbers don’t lie. They may just have consumed one Tropical Iceberg too many and exaggerate.

Nevertheless he reveled in the hope that tomorrow would be better while stuffing his face with some uber sister-made manchurian and rice. After all what could go wrong with 5 tickets to Ocean’s 13 in his possession?

Only time would tell.

Would he have to go on shoot tomorrow? Will the print of Ocean’s 13 be any good? And most importantly, would his treacherous bowels take over the role of his alarm clock?

All this and much more on the next thrilling episode of Weekend Warrior. Same time, same place, tomorrow!

Now Listening To : Sting – King of Pain

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