Tag Archives: awesome

Games to look forward to in 2011

18 Jan

A little something I had written for the Mumbai Mirror awhile ago…

Oh yay. 2011. It’ll be the best year of gaming. Just like 2004, 2005,  2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010!

The hype. It’s tiring. Video game makers need to find a different spin. Pimping each year to be the year of forever doesn’t usually work with a rational, sane audience, luckily we’re anything but. At least I’m not. If I was, I wouldn’t be boring you with my list of virtual goodness to look forward to in 2011. Or would I? Let that scheme bubble on your brain while you read on:

1.    Deus Ex: Human Revolution (PC/X360/PS3): Conspiracies? Check. Gameplay that makes both GTA and Dragon Age look pathetic? Check. Based on a legendary series? Hell yes. The franchise is known for its fantastic storyline, killer cyberpunk feel and RPG-like gameplay. From the looks of things, Human Revolution would continue the trend with some sinfully good trailers and even better gameplay footage. The very fact that you could very well go through the game without killing anyone (barring bosses perhaps) makes it even more interesting. If the internet is to be believed, see this on the shelves in March.

2.    Killzone 3 (PS3): Another old favourite this, think of it as a brutal, visceral war flick in first person but on alien planet is the best way of describing the game. And this time you’re holed up way behind enemy lines with no support. Sprinkle some magic pixie dust that Guerrilla Games use to make their titles oh-so-perfect cranked up to a zillion and you have must have title for the PS3. This should be out by end-February.

3.    Catherine (X360/PS3): Man walks into a bar. Man meets hot woman. Stuff happens. Said man gets chased by a giant pair of  hands wielding a bloodied fork. Yes, this is a video game and a quirky one at that. Pity that a release date isn’t tagged on to this horror-adventure title from the publisher that brought us Demons Souls and Persona.

4. Bulletstorm (PC/X360/PS3): It’s nice to see the guys responsible for Gears of War and Unreal branch out into more visceral gun-toting entertainment. There are over the top moves, comically large weapons and skill-shots for killing enemies in style which more or less redefine the term “slapstick violence”.  Oh and there’s a story too. Something about a drunken space pirate marooned on an alien planet or something. Not like it gets in the way of shooting a mercenary in the balls for extra points but it does add context. Look out for this in February.

5. The Witcher 2: Assassin of Kings (PC): The first game was somewhat of a cult classic with the element of choice extremely well-played out as there isn’t an obviously “good” or “bad”  choice. Just shades of grey. Throw in a unique fantasy world based on the books with the same name, a kick-ass combat system and an extremely engaging story with a rumored 16 different endings make this an interesting way to make use of your PC for something that isn’t Solitaire. Check it out in May.

Rishi Alwani parasitically attaches himself to any possible gaming device . His not so secret identity has him donning the mask of the features editor at T3. He loves cookies.

The Instagram Gallery

11 Dec

Well, at least until I figure away for things to stream simultaneously across the board. Using Flickr maybe?

Harassment

4 Mar

Sometime,  just around quitting time, February 18th.

Her: Would you like to see my niece?

Him: How would I see them? You’re wearing pants.

Slackerninja: *facepalm* Dude, that’s actually grounds for sexual harassment.

Him: The parts for harassment are above the knees.

Her: Whaaaa?

Slackerninja: *double facepalm*

5 Months. One Post.

11 Oct

The last couple of months have been hectic around here. So let’s break it down in as concise a manner as possible.

May was, for all reason and purpose the month of epic drama. Be it the Fake IPL gallery, some great people at work leaving under pathetic circumstances, couples disentigrating faster than a 100 year old BMC deemed illegally unsafe building due for demolition and some crazy meetings. And there was a ramp walk at work which doubled as a gigantic circle-jerk session where everyone said nice things about everything to the point where it seemed as if unicorns were puking rainbows and ended with yours truly voted as the “angel” of the office. Yes this is the end of the world. Confirmed.

June was even more hilarious with unscheduled departures, finally arriving appraisal letters which were followed by the all but obvious exploitation that comes along with it (the recession is a lie, believe), the return of a certain Anuya (drunk, loud, American accent and ex in tow) and the departure of Rohit to the promised land of MBA-dom. Retailer conventions that were made of pure funny (if the concerned people are reading this do remember the following: store rooms, gas masks and stilletos). Oh and the FDA is full of shit banning Red Bull and then having it back on shelves.

July was busy. Rain, birthday (thanks a ton guys!), getting screwed over by alliance partners, irritating web developers and yeah i <3 the Backstreet Boys. Or so some people would love to believe. Not to mention catching the Hangover twice, T4 (which was epic bullshit) and Transformers 2 which was epic times zillion to the factor of infinity. Also a holiday for me what with the mombot going to Cairo and Dubai for awhile.

August was Singapore! Gotta love how the Mumbai Airport makes you feel secure, warm and fuzzy on departure like you should and makes you feel like a Guantanamo terror suspect on arrival what with chaos, pandemonium, stupid swine flu checks and complete, utter disregard for organization and traveler concerns that actually make you wonder why the Human Rights Comission hasn’t cracked down on the Mumbai Airport authorities yet. That aside launching a new website, saving two relationships, severing one and countless drunken nights at Harbor View made it one hellish month. Did i forget having a massive press event up and running in under two weeks? Yes it was that kind of month. You know, the one which was on PMS where that time of the month was everytime.

September had a feel of blah, meh and several shades of fugly settling in. For starters cryptic beer fuelled conversations with friends resulted in a scenario where at any given point in time not more than 2 people have an idea of what was being discussed making the term cloak and daggers seem relatively blatant. If this wasn’t enough, what about awkward engagements, relentless nagging for booking air tickets, torture (forced to maintain eye contact with not exactly the most pleasing of people for a play which was a mix of Sholay and video game culture, rather video game culture as perceived from a bunch of out of touch coots).

Now if you’ll excuse me i’ve some head trauma to nurse what with being privy to a night out where the spectacle of men feeling each other up was the highlight. However i’ll save that story for my next blog post.

Dramatis Personae

22 Jun
dram·a·tis per·so·nae  (drm-ts pr-sn, dräm-ts pr-sn)
pl.n.
1. The characters in a play or story.
2. A list of the characters in a play or story.
[Latin drmatis, genitive of drma, drama + persnae, pl. of persna, character.]

For the uninitiated, the Free Dictionary entry for Dramatis Personae is as follows:

dram·a·tis per·so·nae  (drm-ts pr-sn, dräm-ts pr-sn)

pl.n.

1. The characters in a play or story.

2. A list of the characters in a play or story.

[Latin drmatis, genitive of drma, drama + persnae, pl. of persna, character.]

Keeping this in mind and the constant nagging of Raddy (which was as constant as the consistency of the Indian Cricket team. If they were Australia in the 2000′s) the next few posts will be dedicated to the awesomeness of the dramatis personae in my life.

Stay tuned for the funny, lame, retarded, godlike and alcoholic tales of those who are. Or something. Since i can think of a nice flourshing way to conclude this post, i’ll end it here. Yeah.

Now Listening To: Franz Ferdinand – Bite Hard

April Awesomeness

14 Jun

April had its moments of madness. More so than any other month. Yet.  Pardon the lack of an update. Life is busy, distractive and even fun. All at the same time. Nevertheless here we go:

1. Lolcat exhibitions are awesome. Even more so when followed up by a few beers at the local watering hole, Ambience. Pity that the girls weren’t too keen about stepping into Croma. Fun times.

2. Tavern is an interesting place with interesting people and we live in interesting times. Yeah.

3.  Sundance is an even more interesting place provided you have the right people. Namely Raddy and Chetan.

4. Woodside Inn isn’t so interesting. Mainly because their pesto is sweet.

5.  Fake IPL Player’s blog was awesome. It’s a good thing he didn’t reveal himself. i’m waiting for the book to come out with the truth. Or the full length motion picture.

6. Exes are exes for a reason.

7.  Voting is overrated the only reason people have to do so is because it allows them to show their middle finger on TV and not be censored for it.

8. Conference calls come in two varieties. One described here. And another which is akin to going to a party that’s got the makings of something great what with the dim lighting, loads of alcohol and hot women. Until you start chatting one of them up, things start getting hot and heavy and then you realize she has a mustache. Conference calls. The bane of humanity. At least for this month.

9. Attention!

10. Garden State and Akira are great movies. Until you decide to watch them back to back.  And then it all goes to heck because you’re muddled with visions that cross two people kissing with mass amputations,  tumours and implosions.

11. Train rides are  unboring when they include you being privy to a conversation revolving around break ups, fetishes, vengeance and drama.

12.  XKCD

13. Pranks, Sundance and Old friends.

14.  Parents and Facebook.

15.  New Year’s Eve-ish thoughts. Yes Chetan, i missed out Lonvala. My bad totally. Very rare are nights made so epic with just half a litre of whisky and enough conversation to light up the entire continent of Africa. Believe.

16.  The Mater’s birfday!

17.  ”In the real world things are very different. You just need to look around you. Nobody wants to die that way. People die of disease and accident. Death comes suddenly and there is no notion of good or bad. It leaves, not a dramatic feeling but great emptiness. When you lose someone you loved very much you feel this big empty space and think, ‘If I had known this was coming I would have done things differently.”

18. No that post wasn’t for you, you or you.

Now Listening To:  The Killers – Exitlude

Acid Test

25 May

It takes a week full of drama to realize that you’re bulletproof.

Now Listening To: Linkin Park – Bleed It Out

0455 Sunday

3 May

We are such 4th wall breakers.

The best way to get someone’s attention.

26 Apr

Ever had a scenario where you needed to get someone’s attention and have already tried everything? And by “everything” that would include sacrificing virgins, summoning godzilla and nuking a small continent. Fret not, here at Slackerninja’s Freestyle Dojo, we have a method that’s fool proof and guarantees 100% results else your money back!

Ladies and gentlemen i present to you what is the greatest possible way to grab someone’s attention.

Ninja Monkeys. With spoons.

Did your head explode? Yeah i thought so, let me say that again. Ninja Monkeys. With spoons. Just don’t get any gibs on the carpet.

What you need for this are:

  • 3 monkeys
  • 3 spoons
  • 1 DVD of  the Ninja Scroll anime
  • 1 TV
  • 1 DVD player
  • 1 empty room
  • 1 airplane

Directions:

Hook up the TV and DVD player in the empty room, play the Ninja Scroll anime on loop. Leave the monkeys inside for a week. Carefully approach the room, hand them spoons. Get them to an airplane, zeroed into the coordinates of the person who’s attention you need. Air drop the monkeys right  above said person for desired effect as illustrated below:

You might wonder, why spoons? Well because theyre effective killing tools. Believe.

You might wonder, why spoons? Well because they're effective killing tools. Believe.

So there you have it all you attention whores seekers.  The undisputedly most effective way to grab anyone’s attention!

If you’ve been fortunate to chance upon this blog and use this sagacious piece of advice do share your experiences by commenting below.

Disclaimer: Slackerninja’s Freestyle Dojo takes no responsibility for any possible loss of friendship, love, life, business opportunities or cookies that may occur while using this invaluable knowledge that you (read: everyone one on the internet) are exclusively privy to.