Tag Archives: lame

Games to look forward to in 2011

18 Jan

A little something I had written for the Mumbai Mirror awhile ago…

Oh yay. 2011. It’ll be the best year of gaming. Just like 2004, 2005,  2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010!

The hype. It’s tiring. Video game makers need to find a different spin. Pimping each year to be the year of forever doesn’t usually work with a rational, sane audience, luckily we’re anything but. At least I’m not. If I was, I wouldn’t be boring you with my list of virtual goodness to look forward to in 2011. Or would I? Let that scheme bubble on your brain while you read on:

1.    Deus Ex: Human Revolution (PC/X360/PS3): Conspiracies? Check. Gameplay that makes both GTA and Dragon Age look pathetic? Check. Based on a legendary series? Hell yes. The franchise is known for its fantastic storyline, killer cyberpunk feel and RPG-like gameplay. From the looks of things, Human Revolution would continue the trend with some sinfully good trailers and even better gameplay footage. The very fact that you could very well go through the game without killing anyone (barring bosses perhaps) makes it even more interesting. If the internet is to be believed, see this on the shelves in March.

2.    Killzone 3 (PS3): Another old favourite this, think of it as a brutal, visceral war flick in first person but on alien planet is the best way of describing the game. And this time you’re holed up way behind enemy lines with no support. Sprinkle some magic pixie dust that Guerrilla Games use to make their titles oh-so-perfect cranked up to a zillion and you have must have title for the PS3. This should be out by end-February.

3.    Catherine (X360/PS3): Man walks into a bar. Man meets hot woman. Stuff happens. Said man gets chased by a giant pair of  hands wielding a bloodied fork. Yes, this is a video game and a quirky one at that. Pity that a release date isn’t tagged on to this horror-adventure title from the publisher that brought us Demons Souls and Persona.

4. Bulletstorm (PC/X360/PS3): It’s nice to see the guys responsible for Gears of War and Unreal branch out into more visceral gun-toting entertainment. There are over the top moves, comically large weapons and skill-shots for killing enemies in style which more or less redefine the term “slapstick violence”.  Oh and there’s a story too. Something about a drunken space pirate marooned on an alien planet or something. Not like it gets in the way of shooting a mercenary in the balls for extra points but it does add context. Look out for this in February.

5. The Witcher 2: Assassin of Kings (PC): The first game was somewhat of a cult classic with the element of choice extremely well-played out as there isn’t an obviously “good” or “bad”  choice. Just shades of grey. Throw in a unique fantasy world based on the books with the same name, a kick-ass combat system and an extremely engaging story with a rumored 16 different endings make this an interesting way to make use of your PC for something that isn’t Solitaire. Check it out in May.

Rishi Alwani parasitically attaches himself to any possible gaming device . His not so secret identity has him donning the mask of the features editor at T3. He loves cookies.

Wednesday Happened

23 May

“If you’re going for it, don’t be a hero and just say you’re going for it.”

“Dude, if I were going for it I’d say I was. Heck you’d know if I was. Haven’t you watched any old school Hindi flicks? You CAN TELL who the hero is in one glance.”

Sure the conversation above was in reference to something completely different (which may or may not involve women). But it is apt for my current conundrum. Either way things can get pretty disturbing when you’re told “TRUST ME” in a context that’s purely professional. You can’t tell where some people stand. Even if they apparently have the best intentions.

So yes, the “talk” happened with decibel breakage (mainly from my side) as well leading to more than a few people wondering what was going on cementing my belief that the best of intentions are hindered by compromise and other crap needed to make a system work. Or at least have a semblance of function.

On the bright side I was a recipient of a few hilarious text messages, the best of which was “Lol, coming for lunch?”.  Regardless of the outcome, I feel it’s time to level up. There’s so much I want to do. So little time to do it. Too little of it to waste bickering with a bunch of trolls.

Oh and I’m “overly aggressive”.

LOL.

Now Listening To: Bear Lake – You’re Only Waiting

Dramatis Personae

22 Jun
dram·a·tis per·so·nae  (drm-ts pr-sn, dräm-ts pr-sn)
pl.n.
1. The characters in a play or story.
2. A list of the characters in a play or story.
[Latin drmatis, genitive of drma, drama + persnae, pl. of persna, character.]

For the uninitiated, the Free Dictionary entry for Dramatis Personae is as follows:

dram·a·tis per·so·nae  (drm-ts pr-sn, dräm-ts pr-sn)

pl.n.

1. The characters in a play or story.

2. A list of the characters in a play or story.

[Latin drmatis, genitive of drma, drama + persnae, pl. of persna, character.]

Keeping this in mind and the constant nagging of Raddy (which was as constant as the consistency of the Indian Cricket team. If they were Australia in the 2000′s) the next few posts will be dedicated to the awesomeness of the dramatis personae in my life.

Stay tuned for the funny, lame, retarded, godlike and alcoholic tales of those who are. Or something. Since i can think of a nice flourshing way to conclude this post, i’ll end it here. Yeah.

Now Listening To: Franz Ferdinand – Bite Hard

Acid Test

25 May

It takes a week full of drama to realize that you’re bulletproof.

Now Listening To: Linkin Park – Bleed It Out

You know you’ve got up on the wrong side of the bed when…

4 Jun

The only song that’s stuck in your head on loop is Aqualung’s Strange But Beautiful. If that wasn’t irritating enough, you wake up a good three hours later than you were supposed to, missing a crucial class and being late for work. And if that hasn’t got your goat, try the scorching heat which makes walking outside a giant sweat-a-thon so much so that you’ve managed to generate enough perspiration to fuel a nuclear power plant.
And if you think it ends there you’re mistaken, you end up getting asked three fucked up questions in the space of an hour. The first one being to choose between red and leopard printed bras.

Hold it, it gets better the second question allows you to choose between burping or coughing while kissing the girl of your dreams while on the first date.

No, wait the pain isn’t over yet…the third asks if you were getting orally gratified would it be because you prefer her on her knees or because of the 10 minutes of silence?

Yeah in spite of having a semi-messed up day at least you weren’t the person who was asked to choose between pleasuring a 10 year old girl or a 100 year old woman.

All isn’t lost. Yet. You could be the guy driving the forklift in this picture and do one better. By “one better” we mean, actually failing epicly.