He: “So who is the Marvel superhero who they’re going to announce as gay?”
Me: “Marvel? No man, DC.”
He: “Is it Spiderman? Superman? I think it will be Batman.”
Me: *awkward, long, deliberate pause*
He: “Because…”
Me: “No. No. No. Just NO! Not happening.”
He: “Why not?”
Me: “He’s a complete bad ass that’s why!”
He: “But it would explain a lot of things.”
Me: “Yeah I guess that would explain Robin.”
He: “The overcompensating gruff voice, the fact that he isn’t prone to Catwoman’s charms.”
Me: “Or Poison Ivy for that matter. His fascination for the Joker. Yeah, guess you’re right. The logic makes sense.”
He: “The only reason they won’t do it is because of backlash from the fans.”
Me: “True, but you know what would be funny? XYZ is a huge fan. In fact his better half even told me that he paraded around his college dorm in a Batman costume.”
He: “Seriously?”
Me: “Yes. Imagine how this would screw with his head?”
He: “In ways more than one.”
