Rorschach’s Rishis’s Journal Blog April 19th 1985 2009
Vodka haze. Had a mega-mug of it last night. Doused with lemonade. The effects of the marathon Team Fortress 2 and Dawn of War 2 sessions played on my brain like a zillion Seinfeld jokes being told at once. Fun. Too much of it to process.
Phone rings. Once. Twice. Thrice. Aunt walks in. Wakes me up from my semi-slumber. It was V-Man. Croaky and still slumbering i took his call for it only meant one thing. A day filled with moments like:
“This is an authentic Chinese restaurant?”
“They have Chinese people outside (at the reservation desk)”
“If she says you remind her of your father, tell her, “come to daddy!” “ (with pelvic thrust et al ).
Yes. There was beer. Two pitchers of it. Two more than V-Man could handle. So much so that by the time we raided Baskin Robbins and KR Rustoms for ice cream he was giggling like a school girl on her first date. Did i mention he was tapping on any possible surface he could find, trying to give Dave Grohl a run for his money? And it was only going to get worse.
“Why is it so quiet?”
“Nothing man, just wanna make sure we cross the road without getting run over.”
5 seconds later.
“So what gay song should i sing now?”
” * Starts singing BSB’s As long as You Love Me* “
Singing BSB songs in broad daylight. This menace had to be stopped. And it was. In epic Rorschach Rishi style.
“Dude why so quiet.”
“We got thrown out of Marine Plaza. You were groping a waitress.”
“What the hell?! But I remember I hugged Abhay on the way out.”
“That’s all you remember.”
A phone call later reconfirmed what he had allegedly done. Propositioning the invisible waitress for a lapdance, making lewd comments and asking for some form of gratification whose graphic nature, if disclosed would put this blog on par with a full fledged porn site.
Anyway the purpose was served, he was left scarred, confused and believed it all. Till i decided to tell him the truth. Then he was livid, furious and seven shades of angry. More importantly, sober.
If reading this now, whether i am alive or dead, you will know truth. Whatever precise nature of this conspiracy, two pitchers of KingFisher draught beer are responsible. Have done best to make this legible. Believe it paints disturbing picture. Namely that of the villainy i’m capable of.
Now Listening To: Limp Bizkit – Boiler