Tag Archives: WTF
“If you’re going for it, don’t be a hero and just say you’re going for it.”
“Dude, if I were going for it I’d say I was. Heck you’d know if I was. Haven’t you watched any old school Hindi flicks? You CAN TELL who the hero is in one glance.”
Sure the conversation above was in reference to something completely different (which may or may not involve women). But it is apt for my current conundrum. Either way things can get pretty disturbing when you’re told “TRUST ME” in a context that’s purely professional. You can’t tell where some people stand. Even if they apparently have the best intentions.
So yes, the “talk” happened with decibel breakage (mainly from my side) as well leading to more than a few people wondering what was going on cementing my belief that the best of intentions are hindered by compromise and other crap needed to make a system work. Or at least have a semblance of function.
On the bright side I was a recipient of a few hilarious text messages, the best of which was “Lol, coming for lunch?”. Regardless of the outcome, I feel it’s time to level up. There’s so much I want to do. So little time to do it. Too little of it to waste bickering with a bunch of trolls.
Oh and I’m “overly aggressive”.
Now Listening To: Bear Lake – You’re Only Waiting
It’s 5: 22 AM.
By the time I’m done typing this post, it’ll be close to 6 AM on a Monday morning if not already past it.
Needless to say, things are pretty messed up if you find yourself in front of your computer screen in a post-sleep, caffeine and Gatorade fueled haze in a vain, almost cursory attempt at trying to be coherent on a blog that has been, of late a dumping ground for perverse jokes and randomness instead of doing the 24465476879346322154667799 other things that do matter in a life span that’s relatively short and useless relative to the great scheme of things in the universe.
Read that last paragraph? 4 lines. One sentence. Good-bye coherency and sense, I barely knew you.
Then again, it joins the ranks of seemingly important, high priority entities that I’ve lost a grip on. I feel directionless, burned out and on the verge of , if not already in, some sick, twisted form of misery and depression.
Amazing isn’t it? Close to 2 years ago I thought I won the proverbial lottery in the most literal sense possible. I was in an industry I loved working on things that mattered and making a difference. Or so I thought.
Right now everything leading up to this moment seems completely disjointed, a rambling Frankenstein-like specimen stitched together by delusions of self-worth. Everything seems to be colored in monotony. Waking up is a chore, getting to work even a bigger one, surviving the day, the biggest of all. And it makes me wonder.
You know that in superhero flicks and comics there’s a prolonged period of struggle before they finally manage to find a way to defeat their villains right? This period of my life seems like those 5-10 pages or the odd thirty minutes of celluloid struggle. On constant loop. A rerun of cheap satire that’s probably keeping some alien race entertained as they’re watching from high above, a comedic filler giving their aspirations of galactic domination a massive boost if this was an indicator of how the rest of humanity pans out.
I’m just tired. Frayed. And seven shades of shit rolled into one convenient package that’s prevented from hitting the fan due to a heady mix of music, video games, anime, coffee and alcohol. But for how long?
There’s only so much an IQ of 160 severed by a dominant right-brain can do. Couple that with a personal life that’s as healthy as a dead person and social life where the high point is getting sloshed on a Saturday night leads me to believe that I need a change. A change of everything. A change from everyone. A change absolutely wholesale.
I need to find a way out. Before life becomes the death of me. Until a suitable solution is found I’ll be busy helping stone golems discover who they were before they became well…stone golems.
Oh what do you know? It’s 6:40 AM. Am I Nostradamus or what?
Now Listening To: Queens of the Stone Age – In the Fade
Sometime, just around quitting time, February 18th.
Her: Would you like to see my niece?
Him: How would I see them? You’re wearing pants.
Slackerninja: *facepalm* Dude, that’s actually grounds for sexual harassment.
Him: The parts for harassment are above the knees.
Slackerninja: *double facepalm*
It was one of those nights where you felt the need to grab a drink, play some Jenga and have some conversation. So when the sisterbot, Trosseau Lady and myself made our way to Bootlegger’s we were greeted by a site that was anything but that. Instead we were greeted to a scene right out of a Roman orgy minus the women.
You read that right, men grinding with other men, men throwing (imaginary) notes at other men as if they were at a dance bar, men forcing other men to get up and dance with them and if i saw right, dirty dancing even.
Now that i come to think of it, 9 days after the alcohol of that night had drained itself from my body (replaced with ice cream, vodka and whiskey), they weren’t men. No they weren’t men at all.Try boys.
Yes, boys, probably first timers at a night club. The sort who’re just fresh out of school. In this case probably a school where any term related to the female species was met with immediate expulsion and solid spanking by some emo-male teacher who was hit by his mom, molested by his uncle and has a high pitch voice.
While Trosseau Lady and the sisterbot were ogling with ardent curiousity, yours truly was busy connecting his face to his palm in abject disgust wondering if this would be the fate of men if women ceased to exist. For those few hours it did seem like it (present company included*).
Did i forget to mention a faux ramp walk, sliding across the floors and general douche baggery that would fit in with a gay bar, which Bootlegger’s is certainly not. Maybe the management was under the Elton John/George Michael/ Bobby Darling Defense Force?
Either way, it’s going to be a cold day in hell before i go back to Bootlegger’s. Unless i start exhibiting tendencies towards chick flicks, sip on pink drinks with umbrellas, walk crooked and proclaim Brokeback Mountain to be my favorite movie. Till then i’ll be having my alcohol elsewhere.
Oh and for those precious few women who aren’t prone to ogling as if they were examining some new species of baboons or rhesus monkeys, you have, on behalf of heterosexual side of man kind, my sincerest apologies.
*yes i really meant that, after all what do you expect when you're with a gal who's about to get hitched and your sister as well?
The last couple of months have been hectic around here. So let’s break it down in as concise a manner as possible.
May was, for all reason and purpose the month of epic drama. Be it the Fake IPL gallery, some great people at work leaving under pathetic circumstances, couples disentigrating faster than a 100 year old BMC deemed illegally unsafe building due for demolition and some crazy meetings. And there was a ramp walk at work which doubled as a gigantic circle-jerk session where everyone said nice things about everything to the point where it seemed as if unicorns were puking rainbows and ended with yours truly voted as the “angel” of the office. Yes this is the end of the world. Confirmed.
June was even more hilarious with unscheduled departures, finally arriving appraisal letters which were followed by the all but obvious exploitation that comes along with it (the recession is a lie, believe), the return of a certain Anuya (drunk, loud, American accent and ex in tow) and the departure of Rohit to the promised land of MBA-dom. Retailer conventions that were made of pure funny (if the concerned people are reading this do remember the following: store rooms, gas masks and stilletos). Oh and the FDA is full of shit banning Red Bull and then having it back on shelves.
July was busy. Rain, birthday (thanks a ton guys!), getting screwed over by alliance partners, irritating web developers and yeah i <3 the Backstreet Boys. Or so some people would love to believe. Not to mention catching the Hangover twice, T4 (which was epic bullshit) and Transformers 2 which was epic times zillion to the factor of infinity. Also a holiday for me what with the mombot going to Cairo and Dubai for awhile.
August was Singapore! Gotta love how the Mumbai Airport makes you feel secure, warm and fuzzy on departure like you should and makes you feel like a Guantanamo terror suspect on arrival what with chaos, pandemonium, stupid swine flu checks and complete, utter disregard for organization and traveler concerns that actually make you wonder why the Human Rights Comission hasn’t cracked down on the Mumbai Airport authorities yet. That aside launching a new website, saving two relationships, severing one and countless drunken nights at Harbor View made it one hellish month. Did i forget having a massive press event up and running in under two weeks? Yes it was that kind of month. You know, the one which was on PMS where that time of the month was everytime.
September had a feel of blah, meh and several shades of fugly settling in. For starters cryptic beer fuelled conversations with friends resulted in a scenario where at any given point in time not more than 2 people have an idea of what was being discussed making the term cloak and daggers seem relatively blatant. If this wasn’t enough, what about awkward engagements, relentless nagging for booking air tickets, torture (forced to maintain eye contact with not exactly the most pleasing of people for a play which was a mix of Sholay and video game culture, rather video game culture as perceived from a bunch of out of touch coots).
Now if you’ll excuse me i’ve some head trauma to nurse what with being privy to a night out where the spectacle of men feeling each other up was the highlight. However i’ll save that story for my next blog post.
April had its moments of madness. More so than any other month. Yet. Pardon the lack of an update. Life is busy, distractive and even fun. All at the same time. Nevertheless here we go:
1. Lolcat exhibitions are awesome. Even more so when followed up by a few beers at the local watering hole, Ambience. Pity that the girls weren’t too keen about stepping into Croma. Fun times.
2. Tavern is an interesting place with interesting people and we live in interesting times. Yeah.
3. Sundance is an even more interesting place provided you have the right people. Namely Raddy and Chetan.
4. Woodside Inn isn’t so interesting. Mainly because their pesto is sweet.
5. Fake IPL Player’s blog was awesome. It’s a good thing he didn’t reveal himself. i’m waiting for the book to come out with the truth. Or the full length motion picture.
6. Exes are exes for a reason.
7. Voting is overrated the only reason people have to do so is because it allows them to show their middle finger on TV and not be censored for it.
8. Conference calls come in two varieties. One described here. And another which is akin to going to a party that’s got the makings of something great what with the dim lighting, loads of alcohol and hot women. Until you start chatting one of them up, things start getting hot and heavy and then you realize she has a mustache. Conference calls. The bane of humanity. At least for this month.
10. Garden State and Akira are great movies. Until you decide to watch them back to back. And then it all goes to heck because you’re muddled with visions that cross two people kissing with mass amputations, tumours and implosions.
11. Train rides are unboring when they include you being privy to a conversation revolving around break ups, fetishes, vengeance and drama.
15. New Year’s Eve-ish thoughts. Yes Chetan, i missed out Lonvala. My bad totally. Very rare are nights made so epic with just half a litre of whisky and enough conversation to light up the entire continent of Africa. Believe.
17. ”In the real world things are very different. You just need to look around you. Nobody wants to die that way. People die of disease and accident. Death comes suddenly and there is no notion of good or bad. It leaves, not a dramatic feeling but great emptiness. When you lose someone you loved very much you feel this big empty space and think, ‘If I had known this was coming I would have done things differently.”
18. No that post wasn’t for you, you or you.
Now Listening To: The Killers – Exitlude
It takes a week full of drama to realize that you’re bulletproof.
Now Listening To: Linkin Park – Bleed It Out